the little robin

it was one of those holidays
Thanksgiving or Christmas
one of those dreadful things
& the whole family was there

my little sister
was eager to show
everyone this little
ceramic robin she had
bought at a yard sale
for just a quarter

it was sculpted and
painted beautifully
leaning forward
tail fanned out
ready to leap off
its small perch
and fly
and fly

my little sister
had it in her hands 
but she tripped
down the last
flight of stairs
and when she got up
and picked up
her little bird
the poor little
robin's beak
was chipped

she held it up in her hands
and the tears
oh the tears they came

it's not so bad
I thought
I could paint
a bit of yellow
right over it
and she wouldn't
even notice

but she cried and kept crying
and all my father could say
all my father could say was
THEN TRY NOT TO BE
SO GODDAMNED CLUMSY!

my father the ape
the brute created
through the ages
who had somehow
escaped the evolution
of our race

I was his child?
how?

my sister began to cry louder
really howling now
clutching that barely broken little thing
my little sister cried and cried

I felt sick
worse than sick
I felt
crazed
and deadly

I skipped out the front
& slammed the
screen door
hard
took a long walk
around their
lousy neighborhood
and when I got back
everyone
was gone
and all the
lights were out

I sat on that
porch and
lit up a
cigarette and
my anger settled
like concrete
oh fit itself together
like a nest
of millipedes

I never got to
paint that robin
for my little sister
but
I felt like
killing my father
then
& then
& forever after
after I left that night
but time has spared me
the trouble

thinking of the bugs and
worms chewing through
his dumb gut and
crawling across his
fat lips dropping their
turds where they please

and that stupid house getting
knocked down now
yellow monsters are
chewing up my old room
built for a stupid man who
slaved to build
eventually
nothing

good
it's good

those people who
own the land now
are building a better house

one can
one can hope
it's true

a house where
the little robins will be safe



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