hot
pants
the clock said
pm
and she was still
in
bed so I
decided to
make myself
useful by
sorting the
laundry
so I sat on the
living room floor
cigarette hanging out
of
my mouth
an ashtray sitting
next to me
now
all her
delicates and
underwear go into a
small linen bag
and
the rest we stuff into
big plastic garbage
bags
to haul to the
wash room
so I'm sorting and
smoking and
feeling
quite pleased with
myself but the
smoke
seems to be
getting
all of a sudden
thick
SHIT! LOOK!
HER PANTIES
ARE ON FIRE!
- and I don't mean THAT way
I start slapping at
the
smoking bag with my
hands but this only
launches an air force
of
red-black embers
which settle in the
carpet and on the
upholstered
chairs
screw her panties, I think
the place is gonna burn down
as I
run about
patting down everything
in the
room
then
Maggie's voice
freezes me:
"Is everything okay in
there?
I smell smoke!"
"EVERYTHING'S FINE"
I yell
back
beginning to stomp out the
smoldering pile with my
bare feet
making such a
ruckus that I don't hear her
stomping down the
hall
"GOD! YOU'RE BURNING MY PANTIES!"
"YEAH, that's what I
MEANT to do!"
(she hears that one
from me more
than she should)
she stands there mouth agape
and I sit on the edge of
a chair
wincing
Maggie rushes over:
"ohhhhh you burned your
feet!"
"shit I'm sorry..."
"that you burned your
feet?"
"yeeeeeah..."
her scowl eases and
she starts
laughing
throws herself in my lap
puts an arm around me
then
jumps
straight up and
falls flat on her ass
as the smoke detector goes
off
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