walkout 

---

it was my first date with this blonde
and we met at Blues Burgers to
           kill some time
                                before the movie

we were acquainted by phone
and though I was good
                                       on the phone
being able to entertain for hours
meeting a person
in person
I was easily rattled by
                              eyes
                    gestures
      the curl of a lip                          
I always felt like they were giving
something away everything
                                                      away
but I was good at imagining
the gun under the table
                the spoon & needle set at
                    the bottom of the purse

so I'd snuck a few in at the bar
before she showed
              and allowed myself the
conceit that I was also being
                                  judged this way

we talked easily
at first
but she was growingly anxious
forward with innuendo
desperately glowing and I
I became more and more
sure she was having
                        mad true-love visions
                  of marriage
         of two-and-a-half kids
a manicured lawn
         a white carpet hell
and our families gathered round at
         Christmas time all smiling
                                over their eggnog

I verily near spilled my drink
and those who know me know
                I never do that while sober

I excused myself
walked into the
mens' room to
piss and they were
piping in some
Top 40 hit over
the speakers
some song about
a girl being one
in a million

so I pissed
shook it but
still this
song playing
made me nervous
beyond belief
I wasn't lonely
what the hell was
I doing?

it was a goddamn trap
like the big fish
that eats the little fish
and along comes a
bigger fish
Russian stacking dollfish
with nightmare teeth
and splinters for a
housecoat

I zipped up
used my foot to
flush and to
open the door
turned right
saw our server
crumpled two twenties
into her hand and
explained THE MOVIE'S
PROBABLY NO GOOD
ANYWAY
then walked out
the side entrance

I checked my trunk
for the pint of
S Comfort
and drove
the hell out of
there

nothing
completes
a wolf
young or old
like the sound
of his own echo
the cliffs and the
ocean baying
back to him

alone

---

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